Head and column 1 (the obvious english omitted)
Ready! Starblade take two! Action!
Well well, Jani! Where are you again? This is already the third take you've spoild for us. I know that dealing out snacks is important, but do not get infront of the camera.. ok, little ass? Actually, what are you doing tonight? I'll be quick finishing this film and then I'll buy you dinner, how about it? In that new restaurant Planet "HloupyWud" (translated "SillyWood" - he's trying to be funny here), or what's its name? Are you blushing?
Ok, ok, let's stop making fun and get on with this new film. What did we pay for it? Let's have it done by three o'clock. "Scenarista"?! (like "scene assistant" maybe?) Tell me, what have you got for us? "Well, ehm, he, last night I was drinking a little... just a little.., so yesterday I haven't managed anything, and today my head hurts horribly. I really tried, but on the second page I said to myself, what has been aproved, is good, so I used the idea from our last film Starblade and only improved it in a couple of places. And also stretched it, so that it is twice as long. Otherwise it all remains the same, just like the action films. The plot and pictures are different, but the story is the same. Shooting and shooting. And at time also shooting..." Stop it! You can't be serious! This year I wanted an Oscar! How can I get that with a film ..
(Second column)
.. that has already been? Come up with something else. "What if I would add the option of multi-shooting, the game would be sligtly more interesting. Because instead of one main hero there would be several heroes. Perhaps two, three, or four. Will that be better?" Surely slightly better. But it needs something more... Soundguy? Where's that turbo-ass again, SOUND GUY!" - "Y-y-y-yes, I am here. What can I do for you?" How's your sound editing and music? - "W-w-well, I'm almost ready. Z-z-z-z-z." I know the alphabet, how's the sound coming along? "S-s-s-sound is classic, I used a few sounds from our previous film and some sounds I just resampled, sort of. S-s-s... Hu! Lucky I didn't delete them. They come in handy now. The music I composed almost two days, so I hope I'll get an Oscar for that. Or at least a bonus." Well forget about the Oscar, it's mine. Where's that story guy at! How can I work with the likes of you, I don't understand. Well dammit, where is he! Call him!"
Half an hour search for the person above mentioned follows, who is finally found sleeping in the elevator shaft. He's brutally ra... no, awakened and cleaned up for the director.
"Who do you think you are?" "Jesus Christ ... I like you all so much..." "You have been smoking again, haven't you? No bullshit, you've got eyes like Belzebub. How many times have I told you to come to work with a clean head, you little moron! Do you know how the set looks when you've prepared it being in the state you're in?" "Everything with feathers will fly ..." "I won't waste ...
(third column)
...anymore time with him, take him away, I'll go see what he has done. Hmm, it's not bad. The first scenes are somewhat bare, but the second part is better already. His imagination must have gotten refreshed. Wow, even I would never have though of it. What a great imagination. The man has never been inside a space cruiser yet he comes up with something like this. I guess I'll have to give it to him. Well then, are you all ready? Camera, ready, and action!"
Two days later, newspaper headlines. The film frantically progresses, action after action, cutscene cuts cutscene, F16 cuts Mig... Into that sounds explosions, the environment is variable, alternating open space and planet surfaces, underground complexes, or flight-throughs between cosmic ships... Mixing into all of this are hordes of enemies, everything is moving and shooting, and shooting... For the first ten minutes reporters are pleasantly surprised, however, after that boredom. After half an hour, out of ten reporters, about half are asleep. The film ends, but no one is applauding. The end credits have no one to read them.
(signed by) Lachtan
(Fat brown text to the lower right)
Lachtan: What can I tell you? Galaxian3 is a countinuation of Starblade, and besides the four player option it differs in no way. It's an hours fun, when played then boring. It's good enough for quick fun, but to buy? Depends on your wallet.